Mindfully Managing Pain

Mindfulness has been described as the “psychological process of bringing one’s attention to the internal and external experiences occurring in the present moment, which can be developed through the practice of meditation and other training.” Mindfulness Training as a Clinical Intervention: A Conceptual and Empirical Review, by Ruth A. Baer

This post approaches mindfulness outside of its religious or cultural contexts and approaches it as means to cope with and manage pain.  Everyone today endures a measure of pain and anxiety.  But not everyone pays attention to what they are experiencing internally and externally.  As an approach to managing pain, this might not make sense: Why would you purposely concentrate on your discomfort? While many might think of meditation as a process of clearing the mind or letting it wander, this post will address meditation as the act of deliberately paying attention to something.  Rather than trying not to think, which is very hard to do while in pain, it is good to focus thought on pain objectively.  Not easy, but very effective.

 

Why it works:

When we are mindful, we can effect what we can control and accept what we cannot control.  Usually when we are in pain, our natural inclination is to focus on how awful our pain is, how badly we want it to go away, and ways to free ourselves of it.  All of this is so frustrating, because pain is awful, it usually doesn’t disappear, and we are disappointed when our efforts and attempts prove unfruitful.

 

It’s not about achieving the goal of being pain-free.  It’s about learning a mindset and being able to relate to the pain.  Trying to engage the pain just as it is relieves the stress and anxiety of making it go away.When we are able to accept the pain of the moment, we are able to learn things, move on, and even be happy despite the pain.

 

How to do it:

Take a breath and slow down.  The mind races to all the ways it hurts and all the possible unknown things that could be wrong.  React to the pain and allow yourself to have the initial negative feelings.  After a few moments of that, approach the pain with thoughtful curiosity.  As an example, rate your pain on a scale of 1-10 and ask yourself questions like this: Is it always at this number?  Are there times when the level of pain fluctuates, perhaps even ebbing at certain parts of the day? Perhaps it isn’t really constant or unbearable.  Is it possible that your perception of what you are experiencing is causing you undo suffering?

 

If your pain level is at a constant 8+ on a scale of 1-10, it can be helpful to shift focus to a distraction.  So long as it a healthy distraction.  Interacting with others or tackling a task or game can be effective.  If the pain prevents activity, focus thoughts on positive things.  Thinking happy thoughts is a good mindful habit.  List them or focus on one and its many aspects.

 

With practice, you will find that there are a good many happy thoughts to be had.  Be appreciative of the good things you can come up with and focus on that gratefulness.  Thankfulness is often a good combatant of discontent (and that goes for much more than just physical pain).

 

Whether pain is acute or chronic, mindfulness is a useful tool for managing it.  Focusing on our experiences, good or bad, helps us to find a measure of joy no matter our circumstances or current situation.

 

7 Things You Can Do On Your Phone to Declutter Your Life

 

So much of our lives depend on technology today that we are often glued to our phones and devices. Out of necessity, habit and boredom, we check the constantly updating information available to us.  Since you’re already there scrolling, follow one or more of these tips and take a few minutes to enjoy the satisfaction of making room in your device storage, and enjoy the social aspect of our media more fully.


1. Remove any apps or games that you either don’t use frequently or that take up too much time

This one is easiest.  That addicting game or “helpful” app someone told you about (or the ones your kids or family members downloaded for you) is not just taking up storage on your device, it can probably takes up valuable time.  If you choose not to part with these, at least organize apps as they appear on your device i.e. apps by user, category, or frequency of use.

 

2. Delete unwanted texts

Scroll through your text thread and delete the obvious (unknown numbers, and saved contacts you don’t text often or don’t foresee needing to text again right away.)  Then delete group conversations that have ended, and overlapping group conversations.  Boom.

 

3. Delete superfluous emails

We all do it.  We frequently check our emails and watch the message count climb without taking any action.  So take the opportunity to clear up some memory, save loading time for important messages, and to make the task more efficient each time email is checked.

 

It is up to you to decide what is “unnecessary”.  And depending on how much email you receive, you don’t have to do this all at once.  Easy places to start are emails that are already in the trash but haven’t actually been deleted from you device.  Emails filed as junk also make good candidates for deletion.  The “bulk action” of deleting many of them at a time will give you the momentum to look into the current situation of your inbox.

 

If your rewards and retail memberships or newsletters aren’t already shuttled elsewhere, older messages and updates can be deleted if they are (or were) time-sensitive whether they have been opened or not.  Any expired coupons, promotions, offers or reminders can go.

 

Or better:

 

4. Unsubscribe from any newsletters you don’t read or benefit from

Perhaps we’ve signed up to receive emails or deal notifications (either on purpose or on accident) and don’t foresee spending money with the sender soon.  In this case, consider parting with the constant (well-worded and beautifully designed) suggestions on how to spend our funds and time.  Usually your rewards/memberships are not cancelled when you opt out of receiving these – just your subscription to the emails.  Don’t worry.  If you decide you want to receive those emails again, you can resubscribe.

 

Many of these newsletters are useful and offer great deals.  In this case, keep the subscription, but delete any promos or offers you know you won’t use, or might be tempted to use (for example, the sale on that thing you like but might already have that ends at midnight).  This is helpful in the effort to resist the temptation to splurge on certain things.

 

5. After reading an email, do something with it

Professional organizers often employ the method of taking action with an object once it has been picked up so as to avoid moving and putting away the same item over and over again.  Implement that technique here with your email.  Once you’ve read it, take action: move to trash (chuck it), save (keep it), or keep as new (think about it).  It’s like cleaning the closet or the attic.  Nobody really knows you did it.  But it’s so satisfying.

6. Delete any notes, memos or lists that are done with

Lists, documents, alarms and other time-sensitive files can be deleted once they’re expired.  Once those items are bought or done, that list can go.  You’ve attended that meeting or event, used those notes, snoozed that alarm or heeded it – and moved on.  Don’t look at the same to-dos over and over again.  Even better than being able to cross an item of a list is being able to remove the list altogether.

 

Another great thing about this is that these reminders are often synced across devices via email.  So deleting it in one place frees space in many places.

 

7. Unfollow some people on social media

 

This may be tricky.  Maybe it isn’t.  We don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings or create awkward social situations.  But really, the whole purpose of these networks is to enjoy meaningful association. (Although it is also good for many other things. Petty interactions, awkward lurking, and simultaneous sensory overload and vegetation.)

 

Ghost followers are easy to delete (are they even always real people?), but others might be trickier.  You don’t have to delete impulsively.  Gradually pare down by being a good follower and friend.  Do that first and it will be easier to discern who you share positive and productive interactions with, and those who you really want to follow because you enjoy their media.

 

If you manage social networks for business or as a means to promote an organization, a large network can have its advantages.  Still.  Consider those companies and individuals you with whom you have real and continuous exchange.  You can spend more time building those relationships if you let a “courtesy” follow go.

 

 

These are only 7 ways decluttering your device helps to make life simpler.  Would you say the list items get progressively harder?  Let Pinch and Cinch know if you’ve found these suggestions helpful.  How do you “clean” your device?  Let us know in the comments below.

 

Spend More Time with the Important People in Your Life

Life is short, and spending more time with family and loved ones is at the top of our lists of ‘wants’ and ‘needs’.  It’s often a top-ranked resolution each year, speaking to the human need for meaningful relationships and the understanding that cultivating such bonds take some time and effort.  It takes some coordinating to get everybody’s schedule to jive and find time slots where we’ve all got the energy and motivation to spend time with one another. Like anything that requires time and effort, quality time with the important people in our lives often falls by the wayside, and there never seems to be enough hours in the day.  We max out the limit of waking minutes within the given 24 hour window.  It is less of an issue of gaining more time, than deciding how we will make the time.  Even the time we make is not limitless.  So we have to make that time count. We can’t adjust everybody and their resources, but we have control over how much we give of ourselves for them.  Here are some things you can do to enjoy more time with the important people in your life

 

1. Decide who the important people are.

This might seem like an obvious one.  But spend some time evaluating who is most important to you in the order of their importance.  Does the time you spend with them reflect that?  Those in our households and immediate families are usually the people we see most often but don’t often get the best of us.  Don’t take for granted the important people.

Maybe we can’t help that we spend more time in person , with coworkers than with family members who live far away.  But maybe we can make adjustments that better correlate with how important they are to us.  Call more, text more often or send a thoughtful email.  If we keep up on social media, do we just like posts or do we message and converse with them?

Choose who you want to spend more time with, and don’t let people who aren’t on that list steal time from them.

 

2. Make the time (as much of it as you can).

Can we sacrifice or reallocate the time we use for other activities to spend that time with family and friends?  We make quite a bit of time to do the things we enjoy – binge watch shows, beat our own high scores, improve this, make that better…creating time to spend on something good is not a foreign concept.  While taking personal time is important, spend more of the time you use for yourself on others.  It would be nice if happy times could happen spontaneously, but scheduling time to be together and having a plan increase your chances of making it happen.

cut back time spent on:

  • Television/gaming
  • Social Media
  • Looking at our devices/computers (reading emails, catching up on news and current events etc)
  • Hobbies/leisure 
  • Trying to get ahead (There is always a cap on funds and time.  Instead of only saving it up for the future, enjoy some of it now.)

If we can’t cut back on this personal time, can we include our family members in our activities?  You enjoy doing your thing, and it can stay yours, but let them in on it.  Take an interest in how they spend their personal time.  Learn more about what they do and you’ll end up learning more about them.

Of course not all extra time is spent on diversion, much of what we do each day may be to facilitate the goings on of following days.  Give some thought to cutting back on chores and errands.  Yes they need to be done, but do they need to be done right now?  Are we really saving time trying to catch up and get ahead when it comes to our to-dos, or are we too tired after all that accomplishing that we aren’t able to give our loved ones the attention they deserve?

Make enough time so that you will have the energy and motivation to:

 

2. Make the time count.

Be together.  Don’t just be near each other.  Sometimes that has value in itself, but really be together.   As an example, when watching a movie (a common family outing/date night), we aren’t really interacting – not even looking at each other.  Technically we are watching it “with” everybody else in the theater. It would be easy to just be near each other.  Be there and share the experience.

Do this with any time spent together, not just on planned outings.  Engage each other in conversation.  Washing the dishes or doing chores.  Running errands, whatever.  Share the time.  Let them know how you feel about them.  This doesn’t require a lot of talking.   A gentle touch and a warm smile.  But it will require some thoughtfulness on your part.  Use the time to laugh and listen. Gestures of affection and expressions of appreciation go a long way.   You may have to give these things some forethought.  Make a plan and try to implement it.  Things never go exactly according to plan, but being proactive about making happy memories increases your chance of making some.

 

Wanting more time with the people in your life is natural.  Carving out the time and then actual engaging with each other sometimes doesn’t come as naturally.  Recalling fond memories and imagining what we hope to be our new ones, we don’t remember the awkwardness or the work that went into making those things happen.  We remember who we were with and how we felt.   Sharing love and time is worth the effort.